Sexual Assault
A Sarcastic Survival Guide: 5 Tips for Avoiding Sexual Assault
Please follow these tips if you want to avoid being blamed if someone sexually assaults you. 1. Don’t use dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, Hinge, etc. to meet people. If you want to go on dates or meet new people, you must bring your parental figure or private security guard along with you to safe…
< Read More >A Trauma Therapist’s Perspective: Understanding the Thoughts of Sexual Predators of Children and How this Influences the Child’s View of Themselves
Content Warning: This post references childhood sexual abuse and may be triggering to those who have experienced sexual trauma. Childhood sexual abuse survivors share some common themes in emotions and thoughts: shame (there must be something really wrong with me), guilt (some of my behavior probably led to me being targeted), and confusion (what really…
< Read More >What’s Love Got to Do with It? The challenging nature of intimacy after trauma
Many people who reach out to me wanting to do trauma therapy do so because a partner is urging them to, their relationship is falling apart, intimacy is triggering, or feeling connected to others feels inexplicably difficult. Let’s explore why relationships can feel so challenging for people who have experienced sexual assault or other forms…
< Read More >7 Tips for Friends and Lovers of Sexual Assault Survivors
Some people when they hear your story, contract. Others upon hearing your story, expand. And this is how you know. -Nayyirah Waheed A client of mine recently relayed a devastating story. After much pushing from her boyfriend to tell him more about her she told him about an experience of sexual assault. And then he…
< Read More >33 Ways to Prevent Sexual Assault
A guide for potential victims Trigger warning: This post contains extreme sarcasm. My intent is not to make light of sexual assault but rather to call out the myriad of ways our society blames victims. 1. Dress conservatively. 2. Always be on the lookout wherever you go for potential perpetrators. Scan a room and make…
< Read More >Why didn’t I fight back? The myth of fight or flight responses to trauma
Shame is a common and especially pernicious response to experiencing a traumatic event. Not only has something terrible just happened, you also might be looking to assign what your role in it was or trying to suss out how much you are to blame. In some ways this is actually a handy trick our brain…
< Read More >What Makes Sexual Assault so Hard to Label?
Please note: this article contains frank language about sexual assault which may be triggering to some readers. In my therapy office one of the most common questions I get asked directly or subtly is if I consider a client’s experience of sexual assault as sexual assault. The bolder clients will ask directly though usually with…
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